Twenty-First Post: Vice Magazine

My first article for Vice Magazine was published today. I am thrilled to write for Vice and to take some of the amazing advice I received at Eroticon and apply it to making this happen. 

This article was a response to the fascinating session I attended with Myles Jackman at Eroticon. I’ve now become even more obsessed with the Obscene Publications Act than I was before. All the fun stuff is listed on that legal document so what does that mean for sexual expression? And now it also affects text messages? How are we not talking about this more?

To find out more check out my article, Your Sexts Could Be Criminal, here.

The Man In The Suit Who Came For Tea

This is a blog dedication to @blacknightseve, who became my 200th follower on Sunday. His commission was “The Man in the Suit Who Came To Tea”, which inspired me to write up this memory from a few years ago: 
  
Sir came over after late on Friday night. He had been out at the pub and I had spent the evening cleaning my flat. I tidied up the kitchen and arranged my room according to the instructions Sir had sent to me. As well as the lists of subtle instruments of pain he would like to have at hand, he instructed that when he arrives at my flat, he would like a cup of tea.

A few minutes before midnight I am waiting in the kitchen. Everything is ready. The tiled floor is pleasantly chill under my bare feet. I have set out a cup, teabag, milk and spoon for him. The kettle is filled, but unboiled. The bedroom beyond is prepared and he will take me there when he deems it time.

The doorbell shocks me. I hurry to let him in and then he is suddenly in my kitchen. He allows me to step to him and undo the buttons of his dark coat. I feel the metal against my fingers and slip it through the buttonhole over and over, not daring to look up at him. Under his coat he is precisely dressed; shirt, trousers and waistcoat neatly fitted to his body.

I stand at the kitchen side and wait for the kettle to boil. He isn’t paying me any attention and I can feel his apathy waiting for me on the sofa.

I bring his cup of tea to him and sit by his feet. I hear the teaspoon gently clink against the porcelain as he stirs the drink a little. Two taps as he removes the spoon and I am told to stand in front of him.

“Lift your dress,” he tells me.

I gather my skirts and raise the material above my knees.

“Higher.”

My thighs are now visible to him but he is still unsatisfied.

“Higher.”

I lift the material all the way up. I am exposing my knickers – white ones as requested.

“Bend over.”

I curve at the waist and feel the shame play with the blood in my cheeks.

The clinking starts again, two taps.

A silence where I don’t understand what is happening and then I feel it.

Heat and shock kisses my skin. He is pressing the heated teaspoon into my thigh. I gasp a little and try not to flinch. I meet the pain and feel it shoot adrenaline through my body.

The spoon clatters to the tile floor. He sips his tea and I wait, trembling, for his next instructions.

A big thank you to @blacknightseve for his suggestion, and for helping me recall this episode from my days as a submissive. It has been a pleasure to write and I hope you find it a pleasure to read.
Jenn x

Ten Things I Took Home From Eroticon

Back on the train this afternoon, my suitcase is full of beautiful things that I have won or bought or been gifted this weekend. My notebook is full of scribbles and ideas and a huge to-do list. My brain is completely full of possible blog posts and hopes for pitches. I am bringing so much home with me from this incredible weekend. 

Here are ten things I wanted to discuss in more detail. I have really challenged myself to be specific – the first draft of this post read more like an absolutely filthy Christmas carol:

“Four dildos buzzing,
Three books for research,
Two sexy t-shirts,
And a silk bag with samples of luuuuuube!”

But no, that song is for another time. I have narrowed down the items which have made this weekend special for me. I have so many examples I could have picked, and written this post several times over, each just as exciting and meaningful but this is the list that comes to me while I’m on my train and unable to lay out and admire all the beautiful things in my suitcase to remind me of what I’ve gained.

Ten – A Black Knotted Collar from Kink Craft

Part of a Saturday afternoon session, I spent an hour with Andrew and Pixie learning how to make a gorgeous collar. Andrew and Pixie were really patient and explained the process of making the collar in clear steps. After a full-on morning taking in loads of information I needed to unwind a little. The session was soothing and just what I needed. I was very proud of the finished product and it looks very nice around my neck if I do say so myself.

Nine – A Conversation About Squirting

Sunday lunch was spent in the company of Kayla, Leonora and Coffee and Kink – my newly-found sisters in sass. We had a great discussion about sex, knowing your body and female ejaculation. It was one of the many conversations I has this weekend which made me appreciate how important it is to actually meet people who work in this industry and share your sex-positivity. 

Eight – A Copy of The Eroticon Anthology

I met Victoria Blisse who was an absolute heroine and attended the book stall all weekend. I wandered over clutching a cup of green tea and asked to set it down on her beautiful bookstall so I could pick up all the books I wanted to own. I scored a copy of How To Have Sex by Meg-John Barker and Justin Hancock and a printed copy of The Eroticon Anthology. I contributed a little personal essay to the book and it is such a thrill to see my name in print. 

Seven – The Gift of Multitasking

I treated myself to a Ruby Glow – a sex toy for the seated lady. Tabitha Rayne, who created the Ruby Glow is an erotica writer and explained how she would be torn between keeping writing and taking a break for a lovely wank. Frustrated by the lack of toys which could help her to both at the same time she decided to create her own! The Ruby Glow is designed for sitting on and riding, so means your hands can be free to keep writing. I love this idea so much and can’t wait to sit on my new purchase. 

Six – The Possibility Of Writing For Others

I attended some really helpful sessions on pitching and have made many lists of possible editors and companies who might be open to my writing something for them. All that I need to do is believe in myself, make the strongest pitch possible and hope for the best. And keep writing of course. 

Five – An Inspirational Mug

Girl on the Net‘s mug which tells me “No one does what you do quite like you” was a lovely gift in our Eroticon goody bags. It shall sit on my desk as a tiny porcelain cheerleader for my individuality, talent and the possibility that I can write about the things I want to write about because nobody else can do it like I can. Cue the theme from the James Bond movie Nobody Does It Better…

Four – Practical Tips

Innocent Lover Boy delivered a fantastic session on How To Maintain A Healthy Blog on Sunday which discussed possible obstacles to writing. We identified the things that could be excuses and we shared how best to overcome them. It was great to speak with other people and hear similarities in their experiences, but also the great diversity of solutions that we can draw on to get past the blank page. Really helpful to take away some tangible best practices advice to apply to my work. 

Three – A Community To Write With

We’ve created this meme because I wanted to stay connected to the people I have met, to champion their writing and receive support and feedback in return. Meeting the human beings behind the Twitter feed has been very significant and I want to devour so many blogs and books because I have met the people behind them who are trying their best and exploring fascinating subjects and sharing their words with the world. 

Two – A Statement Necklace

Along with the delicious Ruby Glow, I received a free golden bullet vibrator necklace from Tabitha called the Ro-Val by Rocks Off. I’m the sort of girl who plans her outfits in advance and my Saturday outfit really could have done with a statement necklace, something chunky on a long chain or cord. Alas there wasn’t anything suitable for such a prestigious and sexy event. But now, I have the perfect statement necklace for future ensembles! 

One – A Fire Lit Under My Arse

In my meet and greet blog post I wrote that one of the things I wanted to get out of Eroticon 2017 was “a fire lit under my arse”. Molly kindly picked up on this in one of her pre-Eroticon tweets. I wanted to be inspired and feel energised about writing, to gain lots of ideas for new pieces and to understand more about the sex writing industry. 

I am so happy to say that the fire is lit and it is burning bright. I’m on such a high after this weekend and I want to write all the things, all at once. So now I’m taking steps to write down every idea, every impulse and keep the embers glowing as much as I can. Sometimes there is kindling which comes from others. I hope to give them something in return – maybe a call to action to write up their ten favourite things from Eroticon? 

This weekend has been one of the most valuable experiences for my writing and I can’t wait to purchase my ticket for next year. A huge thank you to all the speakers, the amazing delegates and to Molly’s Daily Kiss, DomSigns and Girl On The Net for their fantastic organisation.

Happy Eroticon everybody!

Twentieth Post: Saturday at Eroticon

This weekend I am at Eroticon, or as I refer to it, a sexy writers conference for sexy writers. 

Sex bloggers, erotica authors, kinksters, journalists and educators have all gathered together in Camden Town, London, to hear talks, see demonstrations and participate in workshops around sex. More specifically, how we talk and write about sex, how we educate others about sex and how to get this lovely information to the best audience possible. 

I woke bright and early this morning and got the tube up to trendy Camden – which is far too trendy to be awake at 8:30am on a Saturday. Molly, one of the organisers of this year’s event, greeted me at the door and gave me a lanyard with my name and online details on. She was super friendly and welcoming and we chatted a little bit about my online meet and greet. It put me at ease that she remembered what I had written a few days ago and it was a lovely way to be greeted when I was feeling slightly shy.

I had come to Eroticon not knowing anyone. I had maybe met Girl on the Net, another one of the organisers, once before (and I have corresponded often to set up guest blogs on her website) but other than that I was flying solo this weekend. Some names I recognised from Twitter and have admired their work from afar but that’s the extent of it. 

I collected my goody bag and chose a seat near the front to hear the opening panel discussions. We began with a discussion about sex and the mainstream media featuring Morenike Adebayo, Paisley Gilmour and Rebecca Reid which set the tone for the morning. As non-fiction writer hoping to work with magazines it was interesting to hear attitudes around this industry and how to work effectively to share your intended sex-positive message. 

First I went to session entitled Sex Blogging as Feminism and Social Justice by Sarah Brynn Holliday. Sarah began her work reviewing sex toys and now uses that passion to provoke change within sex toy retailers to ensure safe, ethical products. She offered some great examples and ideas of how we can keep our work actively feminist. I was encouraged by this as I’m striving to hold porn companies accountable for the way they produce films so I identified some helpful parallels. 

After a green tea I sat in on Myles Jackman’s talk about obscenity laws and writing – I was particularly looking forward to this as I’m really interested in legislation and how that affects discussions around sex. I actually got to ask a particular question that concerned me which was great. I’m going to publish a blog going into more detail shortly because this is something that interests me. 

Girl on the Net delivered a fantastic session on how to pitch written work to editors. She gave some really helpful practical advice on how to deliver the strongest pitch possible. I was inspired to put this method into practice, as I now feel more confident about approaching publications with my ideas. 

I bought a couple of books which I’m looking forward to adding to my bookshelf at home. A self help by Meg-John Barker and Justin Hancock called Enjoy Sex and a copy of the Eroticon Anthology. I contributed a short piece on the theme of identity for the book and it gave me a lovely thrill to see my name in print. I also got a copy of Girl on the Net’s second book How A Bad Girl Fell In Love which she very kindly signed for me!

After a delicious lunch (kindly sponsored by Chaturbate) I wandered through to a Kink Craft workshop. We used a knotting technique to create a lovely collar – which I got to keep. It was really soothing after a busy and mentally stimulating morning to sit and knot things for a while. 

I decided to sit out of the final sessions as my head was reaching saturation point – so I sat in the break room and made some more notes for things to do and wrote up this blog. 

There’s the social tonight and then even more to enjoy tomorrow. Its been really encouraging to meet and speak to other sex positive writers and understand their experiences and build community with them. 

I’ll write some more tomorrow – I’ve got blogging talks, pitching workshops and a reading to look forward to so I should get some good rest. 
Jenn x

Eroticon 2017 – Virtual Meet and Greet

I’m so excited about attending Eroticon this weekend. While completely fangirling about the event and browsing the website I came across this meet and greet page. So I’ve filled in the answers – quite earnestly I must say – and am going to link this post to the website. I’m looking forward to meeting people in person but until Saturday here’s a little bit about me:

NAME (and Twitter if you have one)
Jenny Guérin – Jenn is also an option. My Twitter handle is @writtenbyjenny

What are you hoping to get out of Eroticon 2017?

This will be my very first Eroticon. Its important to me to be with people who get the need to discuss sex openly, to write about sex and celebrate erotic writing.

I’m excited to spend a weekend completely focussed on writing, pitching and understanding how my work might fit into a wider context. I want it to light a fire under my arse to keep writing and pushing myself.

Tell us one thing about yourself that not many people know?

Despite my surname, I’m not French. This becomes apparent when people meet me expecting a French girl and a chick from Yorkshire (with no Yorkshire accent) answers to the name Jenny Guérin.

If you made the papers, what would the headline be?

“Thousands Clutch Pearls As Porn Reviewer Publishes Her Top Ten Websites To View Fisting”

If you could have one skill for free (I.e. without practice/time/effort) what would it be?

I speak fluent French but I also want to master Spanish, Italian, German, Portuguese…

Complete the sentence: I love it when…

I print off an almost-done article and go through it with a pen to do final edits. It means I’m nearly ready to publish and I can break away from the screen to actually put pen to paper. There’s something deeply satisfying about scribbling all over my own words.

Nineteenth Post – How To Get The Job Done

Procrastination comes to us all at one point or another. When faced with a daunting task it is easy to avoid the work ahead, or rush through with less than your best. 

If, like me, you have been guilty of making the masturbatory mistakes highlighted in Bustle magazine, you might find the following tips helpful to getting back on track to becoming a master masturbator. 

Make A List

There is nothing more satisfying than making, and completing, a to-do list. If you are struggling to find the momentum to begin add a cheeky, already completed task at the top of your list which you can tick off with confidence. The rest will come. 

Stay Accountable

Whether going to the gym, filling in your tax return or having a wank, it is best if you stay accountable to your peers. Try calling or texting a trusted friend telling them about what you’re about to embark upon and ask them to check in with you after half an hour. Knowing that someone is aware of what you’re trying to achieve helps you focus on the task at hand. 

Reward Your Hard Work

When you’ve finally completed your task, reward yourself! You deserve it. Knowing there’s something pleasurable waiting for you after you’ve worked so hard can get you through the hardest tasks. 

When Girl on the Net drew my attention to this piece my initial reactions were anger, frustration and even the slightest feeling of guilt – am I doing it right? But then I remembered I’ve been living in my body for my whole life and I know when I take (however much) time to enjoy myself I will not be assessing how well I’m doing it. I wouldn’t do that to a partner who’s trying to make me feel good – why would I not give myself the same respect?

It doesn’t matter how or how quick or how elaborate or if there’s a playlist or a bubble bath or toys or DH Fucking Lawrence. 

I won’t be told how to touch myself – unless they’re a very lucky individual who has earned the right to boss me around. 

Now if you’ll excuse me there is an important matter I must attend to.

Jenn x 

Eighteenth Post – Written in 2016

We are almost at the end of the year. I’ve collected together some pieces that I’ve written or contributed to that have defined my 2016.

Girls on Top: The Women Who Enjoy Working in Porn 

The International Business Times – 20th January

 
This article was published by The International Business Times in the wake of an interview with former porn star Sunny Leone on CNN-IBN. 

Leone deftly shot down interviewer Bhunpendra Chaubey’s sex shaming questions and received praise for her responses online. 

 
I had met and interviewed Erika Lust at Raindance Film Festival in September. To meet someone whose work I adore was a huge thrill. I was so excited to write up the interviews with Lust and UK porn producer and performer Vex Ashley for publication at the start of the year. Female produced porn is still a novelty so its incredibly important for us to see it spoken about in mainstream publications. 
   

 
Threesome Advice I Picked Up On 3nder

Girl On The Net – 11th June

 
3nder is now called Feeld, but thankfully it still exists. I loved writing this piece which offers advice on navigating the sexy waters of being a guest star in a threeway. Girl on the Net has published several of my guest blogs over the years and I’m so thankful for her support each time. I was pleasantly surprised to see this blog feature on her top ten blogs of the year. My ranking was, appropriately, number three. 

Purple Prose: A Guide to Bisexuality in Britain

Thorntree Press – 1st September

 
I offered a small contribution to this book back in 2015, attended the funding launch and read out my contribution on kinky sex, which categorically stated I was not a bisexual – oops. It was amazing to meet editor Kate Harrad, who had co-ordinated the submissions and drove the project, with support from Franklin and Eve at Thorntree Press.

The published book came out in September and sits proudly on my bookshelf. Thank you for letting my words exist on the same pages as some truly inspirational pieces. 

Porn Reviews 

Crash Pad Series – throughout 2016

 I’ve been writing these since early 2016 for Crash Pad. I absolutely love the range of performers and scenes featured in this work, but what really stands out is the Behind The Scenes videos which accompany every film. I would love for this to become a standard in the industry to shed more light on the performers, their attitudes to filming and how porn is created. The attention paid to safe sex practices is particularly important.

 
It has been a pleasure to write this year about people and subjects I’m extremely passionate about. I hope that 2017 bring seven more opportunities to share this passion.

 
One thing I’m definitely excited about for 2017 is my first visit to Eroticon! I’ve just submitted my writing to the Eroticon Anthology, a brand new publication to be released at the conference so hopefully next year’s recap will feature that little piece of smut. 

 
Happy new year to you all.

 
Jenny x