Nineteenth Post – How To Get The Job Done

Procrastination comes to us all at one point or another. When faced with a daunting task it is easy to avoid the work ahead, or rush through with less than your best. 

If, like me, you have been guilty of making the masturbatory mistakes highlighted in Bustle magazine, you might find the following tips helpful to getting back on track to becoming a master masturbator. 

Make A List

There is nothing more satisfying than making, and completing, a to-do list. If you are struggling to find the momentum to begin add a cheeky, already completed task at the top of your list which you can tick off with confidence. The rest will come. 

Stay Accountable

Whether going to the gym, filling in your tax return or having a wank, it is best if you stay accountable to your peers. Try calling or texting a trusted friend telling them about what you’re about to embark upon and ask them to check in with you after half an hour. Knowing that someone is aware of what you’re trying to achieve helps you focus on the task at hand. 

Reward Your Hard Work

When you’ve finally completed your task, reward yourself! You deserve it. Knowing there’s something pleasurable waiting for you after you’ve worked so hard can get you through the hardest tasks. 

When Girl on the Net drew my attention to this piece my initial reactions were anger, frustration and even the slightest feeling of guilt – am I doing it right? But then I remembered I’ve been living in my body for my whole life and I know when I take (however much) time to enjoy myself I will not be assessing how well I’m doing it. I wouldn’t do that to a partner who’s trying to make me feel good – why would I not give myself the same respect?

It doesn’t matter how or how quick or how elaborate or if there’s a playlist or a bubble bath or toys or DH Fucking Lawrence. 

I won’t be told how to touch myself – unless they’re a very lucky individual who has earned the right to boss me around. 

Now if you’ll excuse me there is an important matter I must attend to.

Jenn x 

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