This summer Coffee and Kink and I are running a Sexy Summer Book Club – a celebration of sex positive writing and a method of prompting pieces for our own work. The club is open to all writers who love a bit of smut – find out more here.
Happy June everybody!
This is my first short blog in response to Girl on the Net’s How A Bad Girl Fell in Love. I loved Girl on the Net’s second book (loved the first one too) and I’m spoiled for choice on what themes to write on. This came to me one evening before bed when it was too hot to do anything (or anyone). I tapped some barely passable sentences into my phone before I fell asleep.
CK gave the prompt: How do you feel about “insults as affection?”
Its something in the book that occurs between Sarah and Mark; they tell each other to “fuck off” or call each other “dickhead”. I can relate to this. Its not something I do as often with partners, I prefer to be as straightforward with my affections as possible, but I can understand the impulse.
Sometimes it feels good to pretend to keep someone at arms’ length and gently mock them rather than completely let your guard down and be sincere. It makes those sincere moments even more significant.
However when I got the prompt from CK, I didn’t think of any of my romantic relationships, but rather the time I was submissive to a friend.
sir and I would play with insults during scenes. He would use awful words and I would get such a kick out of the names he called me. The sentences he strung together to make me feel ashamed felt hot and it was a big part of our play together. We both enjoyed words.
We were friends, rather than a couple, so we never made our affections public. We kept our arrangement a secret for over a year. When we would be at the pub with a group, we would pretend as if there was nothing beyond friendship between us.
But he would slip into conversation a small insult; nothing as vile as our private phrases but a tiny nod to the moments we spent alone. Something innocuous – “you’re the worst”.
He would look at me, and I would know by the way his eyes met mine that he was remembering our scenes. It made me feel hot and desired and guilty and furtive all at once. He was very good with his words.