Content warning: this is a completely fluffy blog because the sun was shining this weekend and I had a great time hanging out with a friend I don’t get to see very often.
How nice was the weather this weekend?! First sunshine I’ve got to properly enjoy this year – it was so goooooood!!
On Sunday, after spending Saturday at BiFest, my friend and I lay in the park after brunch. I found an article by Good To Know entitled The Ultimate Sex Bucket List: 50 Things To Try Before You Die so we got paper and pens and I read each item on the list for us to score. What else do sex-positive girl friends do when the sun is shining and you find a listicle like that?
The list was a selection of sex acts for, I would guess, straight vanilla ladies – which we are certainly not. We’ve had some adventures and, of course, I’ve written about some of mine. We aren’t shy about sex. This wasn’t an article for us; we aren’t the right audience. This blog is not a critique of the list. It was actually quite comprehensive and I liked the gentle advice of ‘if this isn’t for you, don’t do it but if you think you might like it, try it, its fabulous,’ that accompanied some items. No beef here, its not my place to call anyone out.
Because aren’t the right audience for this piece some items felt extremely pedestrian. Items like ‘kiss a girl’ was met with pure sass and items like ‘be a sex slave for a night’ was completely dismissed with “pffft! Just a night?”
Submissives, am I right?
It was enjoyable to be dismissive of the list while we were scoring, considering ourselves sexually adventurous women. It was safe to be a little judgemental and it felt nice. I liked doing that activity with someone who has a similar life view to me. There’s nothing worse than say, playing Never Ever Have I Ever and getting absolutely hammered because you’re the only kinky, group-sex-loving, queer person at the party who’s done it in public (more than once) and everyone is treating you as this huge Other person because your life experiences and goals are so far removed from theirs. There’s pleasure to be found in saying “I’ve had a threesome with a couple I’ve met on the internet” and getting a “yeah, me too” in response. Find your people.
I scored 37 out of 50 – pretty respectable. Some things like ‘have sex on a washing machine’ or ‘sex on the beach’ I have no interest in ticking off. That’s not a straight or gay thing – my washing machine is under my kitchen counter and I don’t want sand in my labia. Ever. End of.
It was great way to chat about the things we’d done and we discussed our own tailor made bucket lists. I considered what would make it onto the lesbian bucket list – things like fisting, scissoring and strap-ons would be there for sure. Or the kinky bucket list – fun things like establishing a safe word, trying spanking or that really pretty rope bondage stuff (kinbaku).
For my own bucket list I’m not certain if there’s anything specific I want to accomplish. I’m into exploring other people’s kinks so I rarely set the agenda for what I want to experience. One thing we did discuss was stuff we have already done which we would like to do more of – that was fun.
I really enjoyed reading Good To Know’s list with my friend. Its the little moments when you recognise your world view in others that makes you feel less alone, especially when you’re a queer sex writer.
Check out Good To Know’s Ultimate Sex Bucket List here. What would make it onto your list?